Friday, August 20, 2010

5 signs that your relationship is in troubled waters


Is it over? It's a question that women often ask themselves but are frightened to ask their partners lest it becomes a reality. Once a woman gets a whiff of trouble, that becomes the most dominant thought on her mind. Does he love me? Is he losing interest? Is there someone else? We have asked ourselves one of these questions at least once. And with live-in couples things can get more complicated.

People with a fairly traditional upbringing still look for legal security.

Probably that's the reason why married couples going through troubled times take solace in the fact that they have something probably more tangible in the form of legal and societal sanction for their relationship. Unmarried couples may keep a certain door open for things not working out. Or maybe they don't often come face-to-face with their true deep fears before marriage fearing a break-up.

In a live-in relationship, couples begin to share their lives, but if one falls out of love or wants out of a relationship, the other partner could suddenly find himself/herself in an emotional void that could lead to depression.

Relationship counsellor Rachna Singh talks about the 5 telltale of a relationship going downhill.

LACK OF INTEREST

Lack of physical or emotional contact are two signs that counsellors find most common in any relationship that's going south. Your partner's lack of interest in your life is the first indicator of things going the wrong way. It can be a social gathering with your common friends around or things that you generally did together like dining or watching a late night film. He'll resist accompanying you to any such events. Slowly, you will notice his lack of interest in your life. He'll stop asking you how you feel about things, what you did in office or how you spent your day.

NO SEXUAL URGE

One of the major factors that you could often miss in this busy life is when your partner avoids having sex with you. You may think he's tired or that his interest has probably fizzled out after a first few months or a year of your togetherness, but it often seems to be a guy's way of communicating with you that something at the core is not right. Men often say very little or nothing especially in long relationships for fear of hurting the woman or any violent or agitated reaction. They are not good at verbalising a break-up. Not having sex may be their way of telling you things aren't hunky-dory.

FRIENDS KNOW BEST

Family and friends are the first ones to notice something amiss.

Since you want to believe the best and deny any conflicting emotions, you aren't the right judge of where your relationship is heading. People who you're close to like your family or your close circle of friends will always tell you something's not like before.

Instead of denial, courage to see the truth or at least start accepting a larger picture would actually do the woman good.

SILENCE ISN'T GOLDEN

You may think it's workload, but if your guy has gone silent or less communicative over sometime, something is definitely amiss. You will suddenly realise you are the only one calling him when he's out either socialising or in office. He doesn't bother to call or let you know where he is or when he'll be home.

ROUTINE BICKERING

Things that were almost negligible in your life will suddenly become the source of arguments...like who was supposed to pay the bills, how much time one spends in the bathroom or who was supposed to run an errand.

Small things will blow out of proportion with both of you going into a foul mood. Even if he's the sweetest person on earth, when the guy wants out of a relationship, he'll never say sorry after an argument.


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